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Putting the AMEN in First Amendment
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Location: Blogs Now We're Talking |
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| Posted by: Joe Byrnes |
9/18/2007 4:09 PM |
If laughter is the best medicine, then satire is the cure for a case of politics.
The Marion County Commission should learn from the University of Florida police.
All those retirees parading in front of the commission to whine about water rates and going on and on and on. They just won't shut up. Who do they think they are to complain like that?
They're almost as bad as Andrew Meyer - that loud-mouth UF student at the John Kerry town hall meeting on Monday - rattling off outrageous questions. The UF police took care of that guy.
Six officers grabbed him while he tried to squirm away and while he complained loudly, "What did I do? What did I do?" Then they held him to the floor and Tasered him.
I'll tell you what he did. He wouldn't stop talking. If there's nothing else you should learn at a great American university, it's to sit down and shut up when the government tells you to. If a U.S. senator is kind enough to come down to his level and listen to him, how dare that Meyer kid try to make him feel uncomfortable.
And Meyer was saying the president of the United States should be impeached. Isn't that treason?
It's especially appropriate that - while the officers were holding Meyer down and he was pleading, "Don't tase me, bro!" - they went ahead and gave him a good jolt. That's what you get for bad-mouthing the Commander in Chief, I say.
Now, if they would just schedule some training, bring those fine officers down to the Marion County Sheriff's Office and set up a seminar. They could call it something like: "Putting the AMEN in First Amendment."
Their creative use of the Taser is a model for local governments. Councils and commissions everywhere can short-circuit long-winded public dissent at meetings - cut out all that negativity - with a little behavior modification. Just rig the microphone to deliver a Taser-like charge when needed.
Here's a hypothetical scenario to show you what I mean. Say some raving environmentalist goes before the County Commission and starts asking Charlie Stone why he's against a resolution to cut back on greenhouse-gas emissions.
At first the complainer would hear a crackle from the microphone. Your smart citizen would recognize that he's getting off track, losing that patriotic mindset that keeps us worthy of the flag, the Founding Fathers and the Constitution.
The environmentalist, though, probably wouldn't realize what was about to hit him.
The commissioner might try to correct the whiny little tree-hugger and inform him that not all scientists agree about climate change. There are still a few out there who don't think people - with their cars and power plants and factories - are causing temperatures to rise and extreme weather to become even more extreme.
The environmentalist would probably cite some United Nations report. At this point, they'd give him several quick shocks for even bringing up the U.N. He's prattling on "... a consensus (bzzz) of scientists with the U. (bzzz) N. (bzzz) Ow!"
Jagged lines of electric current would shoot out of the microphone and zap him in his chest. That's what we call the appe-Taser.
If he starts with the personal attacks - questioning Stone about his wholesale petroleum company - then he gets the main course of God Bless America.
Joe Byrnes can be reached at joe@ocala.com or 352-867-4112. |
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Re: Putting the AMEN in First Amendment |
By Dave on
9/18/2007 9:23 PM |
| Joe, that is AWESOME. If Charlie Stone found a genie's lamp and got three wishes, I think you just described one of them. |
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Re: Putting the AMEN in First Amendment |
By Genie on
9/25/2007 9:58 AM |
| WOW! The number of people responding to Byrnes' sarcastic article is unbelievable, One reader so far! <br><br>He should work on something substantive instead of depending on whining sarcasm. There has been no vote or further discussion on the resolution, so what makes Byrnes the supreme predictor of how Stone will vote. Byrnes should focus on getting his facts; perhaps he might become a better reporter and could move on from a third class operation to a second class one. I'll grant him that wish if he so desires. He'll have to get it from a bottle, it sure won't come from ability! |
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