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Don't like state law? 'Cretool' it
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Location: Blogs Now We're Talking |
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| Posted by: Joe Byrnes |
2/3/2007 3:39 PM |
As a newspaper writer for years, I have done plenty damage to the English language. So I am glad of this opportunity to give back.
My contribution is a two-syllable verb, a combination of "cronyism," which means bias toward one's pals, and "retool," which means to reorganize.
Here's the word and its definition: cre•tool \kree-TUL\ vt [fake word]: to change the rules to benefit a close associate; esp.: to revise a law to make sure a crony's legally questionable conduct is legal in the future.
The next time a teacher modifies the grading system to help the teacher's pet - you have the word for it. When the boss drop kicks the vacation policy because the office darling has plans, you know what to call it.
I am still smarting from an extreme case of cretooling I experienced as a boy during a 4-H meat-identification contest.
The week before, my big brother had brought home a projector and film containing information on the various cuts of mutton, pork and beef. All I had to do was sit and look at pictures on a wall. It was the kind of effort I was willing to make.
To my surprise, I tied for first place with the judge's daughter. He cretooled the rules like rump roast in a grinder, creating a new one, a tie-breaker, to give her the blue ribbon.
Last week, you may have noticed another example of cretooling, a bill sponsored by state Rep. Larry Cretul, R-Ocala. Despite denials, he appears to be rewriting state law with his friend and former campaign manager in mind.
Star-Banner writer Chris Curry reported on the bill. We'll get to it, but, first, a little background.
Last March, publicly owned Munroe Regional Medical Center began looking for a new chief executive officer. Its board — made up of volunteers appointed or ratified by the County Commission — named a search committee and hired a consultant.
The board and its committees are governed by Florida's Sunshine and public records laws. Their records and meetings are open to the public.
But they were concerned about publicity, especially from the Star-Banner, which asked for a list of applicants. The consultant worked with individual committee members to set criteria, devised a password-protected system so they could secretly review and rank them,
and arranged private meetings with five finalists.
Only in July, when the committee met to vote on the top two candidates, did they seem to acknowledge the open-government laws.
The State Attorney's Office investigated the search process, and a grand jury indicted the hospital but not the committee members. Its report characterized them as well-meaning public servants poorly served by their lawyer.
"The hospital exists to provide a vital service to the citizens of Marion County," the grand jury said. ". . . and every citizen is entitled to observe the actions of those who operate it on behalf of the public."
In the end, State Attorney Brad King dropped the charges when the hospital board acknowledged Florida law and revised its lease.
Cretul's pal, Stan Hanson, was chair of the committee that got in so much hot water. Cretul's bill would make public hospital CEO search committee meetings and documents secret. Otherwise, Cretul says, they can't compete for the top executives.
Hanson says he did not influence Cretul and the lawmaker is not doing him a favor. Cretul, for his part, is offended by the very suggestion.
Wouldn't it be nice to have a legislator handy to cretool the laws you don't want to follow?
Business Editor Joe Byrnes may be reached at joe@ocala.com or (352) 867-4112. |
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Comments (3)
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Re: Don't like state law? 'Cretool' it |
By Concerned Citizen on
1/31/2007 8:34 PM |
| I have to say as I read this and continue to read all the articles wasted on such a topic I do find it funny that more people responded to the NASCAR blog than to this very comment. Nonetheless, what really concerns me is that the Star Banner now does not want laws to change. I mean really I see your point of view. Every law written should stand absolutley. I mean even as we continue to celebrate the great strides in equal rights laws that all required someone to stand up and say wait a minute now that I see this as a problem I think we should work toward a solution. How dare them. If what you are saying should be truth then we should all just sit down, shut up and let the laws that are written stand exactly as they were written when they where ORIGINALLY written. There are NO exceptions, or is it that the Star Banner has been told no and like a spoiled child protected under its "First Ammenment Rights" it is throwing the MOTHER of all tantrums. Stop IT GROW UP AND REALLY WRITE AN ARTICLE THAT WOULD MEAN SOMETHING TO THE PUBLIC INTEREST AND LESS TO THE STAR BANNER INTEREST. |
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Re: Don't like state law? 'Cretool' it |
By Juris Doctor on
1/31/2007 10:52 PM |
You and others at the Star Banner seem to be taking the same tactic as a defense attorney who has no case. Without facts to support the merits of the case, resort to attacking the character of the plaintiff. Makes for some interesting court dialogue, but in the end you still lose your case.
Let’s just hang Mr. Cretul! He is inconveniencing the Star Banner to benefit the people. That’s a capital offense.
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Re: Don't like state law? 'Cretool' it |
By joebyrnes on
2/1/2007 9:58 AM |
| I wanted to thank you guys for adding comments. One note: I do work for the Star-Banner, but as a columnist – and here, a blogger – I don’t speak for the newspaper. |
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