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Sly Comments

Author:	Emory Schley	Created:	10/4/2006 3:15 PM
Readers are invited to comment on any of the items or discussion seen below, or any matter of concern here in Beautiful Marion County!

Carefree days of summer come to an end eventually
	By Emory Schley on 6/29/2007 8:16 PM

I seldom look forward to summer anymore. I’m more of an autumn type guy now. As a kid, summer was always a great time for me. No school, no job, no cares. Just three squares a day, a place to sleep, free medical care, and I had to do very little in return for all that. Hot weather didn’t bother me nearly as much back then as it does now. I once asked my father, about 30 years ago, which was worse as you age: Cold weather or hot? His immediate reply was “Both.” Now that I’m approaching the age he was when he made that statement, I can’t say I entirely agree with him, but somehow I have a feeling that he was essentially correct. It’s only a matter of me ag ...

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Poll workers not exactly overwhelmed
	By Emory Schley on 6/27/2007 7:50 PM

I dropped in at my local polling place yesterday morning to register my vote for a couple of local representatives in the state legislature. I was on my way to work at the time. When I drove into the precinct parking lot, it was almost empty. When I walked into the polling place, there were only four people present, and they were all poll workers. I showed the lady my photo identification, signed my name on the sheet she presented, then was given a ballot, which I checked off and dropped into the balloting machine. The counter on the machine identified me as the third voter for that precinct that day – and this was at 8:15 a.m. The polls had been open for over an hour, and I was only the third voter to show up so far. & ...

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The beauty of West "By God" Virginia is stunning to behold!
	By Emory Schley on 6/25/2007 9:11 PM

My wife and I recently completed a vacation during which we traveled through 12 states in 11 days. From Florida, we drove into Alabama, Mississippi, Tennessee, Kentucky, Ohio, Pennsylvania, West Virginia, Virginia, North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia and back home again. It was a pretty nice trip, and we experienced all the usual stuff along the way. Every now and then, I like to get out on the road and drive for hour after hour. It gives me a real sense of just how big the United States really is. And it’s a truly beautiful country. But of the States I’ve seen (and there are quit ...

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'Big Sam' was the featured attraction at Florida Adventureland
	By Emory Schley on 6/22/2007 7:52 PM

Someone wrote into my print column the other day asking about the “World’s Biggest Bull” which used to be featured prominently at a tourist attraction on U.S. 301-441 in Ocala several decades back. I ran her question in the column, then Jenny Hammer, longtime photo technician for the Star-Banner, brought in an old brochure advertising the place for me to see. Its name was Florida Adventureland and it was located five miles south of Ocala. The attraction’s “bull” was actually an ox, and its size was listed as eight feet tall and 16 feet long, with a weight of 3,891 pounds. The animal consumed 400 pounds of food and water per day, the brochure stated. & ...

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Savannah offers both history and beauty
	By Emory Schley on 6/20/2007 7:55 PM

Recently I had occasion to travel to Savannah, Georgia for a brief period. While there, my wife and I decided to take one of those trolley tours of the Historic District. I had visited Savannah several times back in the 1960s and had not been impressed much by the city. However those visits were to a military airport and the briefest possible I could make. I had no idea back then that Savannah had such a rich history. The tour guide said George Washington himself had visited Savannah on several occasions, and I wondered, as I heard that, just how many other cities in the United States could make that claim. Not many, I would suppose. There are a number of town squares dotting the Historic District, each one holding a new delight for visitors. Fancy wrought iron highlights ma ...

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Our ever-changing world, and the pace is picking up
	By Emory Schley on 6/18/2007 9:32 PM

I’ve been looking into a few of the possibilities offered by the Internet lately. Time was, a few years back, if you wanted a radio station or a TV station, first you had to raise millions of dollars, hire a gaggle of attorneys, apply to the Federal Communications Commission for a license, and jump through dozens of legal hoops just to arrive at the day when you could first flip the switch and go on the air. Now, any kid with a cheap camera, microphone, laptop and an Internet connection can do essentially the same thing. It may not be quite as elegant, but even that can come, with a bit of time and experience. And it’s a darn sig ...

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Today is the first day of hurricane season
	By Emory Schley on 6/1/2007 7:47 PM

So, today marks the official beginning of the hurricane season, that annual watch period we Floridians enjoy so much as we keep our eyes peeled to the skies, our ears attuned for distant thunder, and our TV remotes ready at the slightest provocation to switch over to the Weather Channel. Six months of wary apprehension is the price we collectively pay for the advantages of living in the Sunshine State, being only a short drive from Walt Disney World and being on a more-or-less first-name basis with a certain very wealthy mouse. &nbs ...

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The never-ending challenge that awaits each of us...
	By Emory Schley on 5/30/2007 7:51 PM

Ever have one of those days when absolutely nothing goes right? I had one of those recently. I awakened at 5:30 a.m., same as every other morning. My cat, Morris always seems to think I should get out of bed at that time. I’ve always wondered how he knows what time it is. I have a digital clock in the bedroom, but as far as I know, cats can’t read numbers or tell time. Nevertheless he wakes me up at 5:30 every morning. As I crawled out of bed, I slipped somehow and wound up sprawled on the floor. Still groggy from sleep, I managed to pull myself upright in the dark before stumbling over toward the light switch. When I flicked the switch, the overhead bulb flashed and died, and I stood there, still in the dark. I should have known better than to continue the day at this point. After all, wha ...

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So, is statistical science leading us down the garden path?
	By Emory Schley on 5/28/2007 10:50 PM

I’m not much of a mathematician, and that subject has always been a shaky one for me. And a quick glimpse into any reputable text on statistical science will show you enough math to make your head spin completely off your shoulders and screw itself at least half-way into the ground. So, I’m not exactly an authority on statistics and the methods used to compile them, either. I will say, though, that while my confidence level in higher mathematics is pretty solid, my confidence in statistics is down toward the bottom of the scale, at best. I suppose the reason why is that I’ve seen many so-called studies that didn’t seem to make much sense to me. That situation has remained unchanged, largely because they keep rolling out study after study that doesn't quite seem to measure up to reality. I know that a supposed key ...

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Keeping a wary eye towards the skies – and the Weather Channel
	By Emory Schley on 5/25/2007 7:51 PM

So the weather experts are predicting another nasty hurricane season this year. This is of particular concern to those of us living in Florida, as our state is frequently the target of Nature’s fury. However, as deadly as hurricanes are, we always at least know they are on their way, and thanks to the Weather Service, we generally have a pretty good idea of where they are headed for the next couple of days or so. The only big unknowns about a hurricane are the tornadoes they spawn and how much rain they’re going to dump on us, but we even have some insight – based on the storm’s current performance – on the rain situation. That leaves the only real question mark firmly attached to the tornado issue. Frankly, I’ve always been far more a ...

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You've got to stay on your toes, and think!
	By Emory Schley on 5/23/2007 8:15 PM

Making a mountain from a molehill used to be just an old saying when I was younger, but now I’m at an age where I see it happening more and more frequently. We are surrounded by such shenanigans. The more you look, the more you start to find. As a driver who always looks way down the road in order to avoid any dire “surprises” in the very near future, I’m more inclined to wonder aloud where all this molehill-into-mountain business will ultimately lead us, a little later in our common near future. It seems like some of our news media seize every opportunity to regale us with breathless reports on whatever crisis they can find, no matter how trivial it may ultimately be. TV newspeople seem to be the biggest offenders. Reporters ...

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Getting up to "speed" with numbers
	By Emory Schley on 5/21/2007 7:58 PM

Back before the days when pocket calculators dropped in price to the point where anyone could easily afford them, most people had to do their arithmetic the old-fashioned way – and that usually meant with a pen and paper. Figuring out square roots was a particularly challenging task. It could be done, but it was more a trial and error thing than a carefully crafted scientific method. If you’re curious about how it was done back in the “dark ages” of the 1950s and 1960s, then check out “methods of computing square roots” at www.en.wikipedia.com. Even simple addition, subtraction, multiplication and division had to be done the old-fashioned way in those pre-calculator days. However, there were a few shortcuts available: Quick now, and without ...

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Who decides on what speed limits should be?
	By Emory Schley on 5/18/2007 8:01 PM

I’ve often wondered what standards, if any, are followed by whoever it is who decides what speed limits should be established, and where. Many of them seem to make no sense at all. I once received a speeding ticket, decades ago, for doing 40 mph in a school zone. And I admit I was probably guilty as charged, however, there were no children outside in the playground, and the playground was separated from the street with a chain-linked fence that was eight feet tall. This was an elementary school, up to fifth grade. I passed by that school perhaps hundreds of times, and not once did I ever see anyone, child or otherwise, trying to scale that fence to get to the street. The fence was almost twice as high as the tallest students there. And all the students were in class, or wherever they go to whenever they’re not outside in the playground. I was ...

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The ultimate test for a good steak house
	By Emory Schley on 5/15/2007 7:46 PM

I like going to steak houses to eat. I like steak houses because, duhhh, I love steak! However, I guess I must not be in synchronization with most other steak lovers. That’s because I like, in fact I insist on, having my steak well-done. I don’t want to cut into a piece of cow and see any red meat. I don’t wanna see any pink meat, either. All I want to see is plain old brown, fully-cooked meat done through and through, no ifs, ands or buts about it! Back in the ’60s, when I was serving in the Army in what was then West Germany, I once went to a really fancy restaurant. I felt in the need for some steak because what we had been getting on post for steak ...

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Customer relations for Dummies: Counting change 101
	By Emory Schley on 5/11/2007 8:02 PM

Lately, I’ve been marvelling, once again, how a cashier standing in front of a modern cash register, can fail to hand out the correct change to a customer. My little bit of experience on a cash register came decades ago, long before they started building computers into them. Back in those days, you had to make change for a customer’s purchases manually. I doubt that many of us screwed up back then, because we all had been taught how to make change correctly. Apparently, they no longer teach that lost art. Now, the procedure is to ring up the purchases, total the bill, punch in the amount tendered, th ...

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Blockbuster movies rake in the cash
	By Emory Schley on 5/10/2007 7:50 PM

This is the summer for blockbuster movies, one that may very well go down in the history books, at least for a few years. I read that Spiderman 3 cost $248 million to produce, which certainly puts it in the far upper levels of the most expensive movies ever made, and maybe even into first place. I have not seen the movie yet, but will once the throngs thin out somewhat. The several reviews I’ve read have ranked it in quality as falling somewhere between the first and second screen outings of the web-slinger, with the second edition considered by the critics I read, to be the best of the lot. Coming up soon are the latest installments of Pirates of the Caribbean and the Bruce Willis series of Die Hard movies, both of which are hoping to clean up at the box office. &nbs ...

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Reality can intrude impolitely upon your dreams
	By Emory Schley on 5/9/2007 7:45 PM

I suppose it’s just plain ol’ unadulterated Human Nature to always want more than what you have; or to want something you don’t have. For some reason, I’ve always thought it would be nice to have a fancy little pool in the backyard. I don’t want one of those big holes in the ground where you can go swimming, or even an above ground model. No, what I’m talking about is much more modest, something more like a little wading pool, y’know, one with lily pads, bulrushes and maybe even a goldfish or two. A little fountain in the middle, trickling water down some rocks, just to keep everything stirred up might be nice, too. A little stand of trees to protect the area from the hot summer sun would seem to fit in quite nicely with ...

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A peaceful and pleasant Saturday morning in Belleview
	By Emory Schley on 5/8/2007 7:49 PM

My wife and I decided to go to festival held in Belleview over the weekend. We drove on over, found a parking space, I pulled out my camera, donned my hat and sunglasses; she did the same, and we began to stroll around the grounds surrounding City Hall. There were a lot of exhibitors displaying all the usual stuff one generally sees at events such as this. However, one that I had not seen before, was a vendor selling little devices that we once called pea-shooters, only these were made of PVC pipe and shot little mini-marshmallows. Kind of like “nano” Nerfballs! Looked like lots of fun! As we ambled around the display area, we saw lots of interesting displays, but as we were nearing the end, I spotted an area where a couple of soldiers were apparently recruiting.&l ...

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Life-long battle has become a war by now
	By Emory Schley on 5/8/2007 5:55 AM

Seems like we all have our personal battles to conduct. Some of us battle our level of literacy, some of us battle our income level, and still others – like me – wage a relentless Battle of the Bulge, the “bulge” being in the belly, of course, and not the World War II battle of the same name. When I was a teenager, I was about 145 pounds, and I always thought I was just a bit too small. I longed to weigh about 160 pounds. This was because I had a friend about my size, height-wise, and he weighed 160. His weight looked to me like a good balance between too skinny and too chubby, so I considered 160 to be the ideal weight for me, too. & ...

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OK, are you ready for lesson number two?
	By Emory Schley on 5/7/2007 7:13 AM

On Monday, March 12, I explained to you how to go about learning how to juggle. The technique I described was a simple one wherein there is only one ball, or beanbag, in the air at any given time, although that’s kind of hard to discern when you’re watching someone do it. The technique discussed then is called the cascade. There are other forms of juggling, too, but the cascade is the one most people find to be the easiest. Another much more difficult technique is called the shower. Whereas the cascade juggle is based on a more-or-less figure 8 pattern with the paths of the balls crossing over each other, the shower adopts a circular pattern where each ball follows a circular (or parabolic) path with no crossovers.

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